Having trouble finding that special someone? Looking for a way to eat more and weigh less? Tired of being the same thoroughly second-rate person month after month?
Try Magicsteak, the only ergonomically-designed all purpose processed meat product that will cure your acne, tone your physique, gain you the admiration of your colleagues, and give you the most comfortable six-hour erection of your life! And SO MUCH MORE!!
Magicsteak has no greasy residue like other all-purpose processed meat products and its patented time-release freshness crystals guarantee that when you use Magicsteak every time feels like the first time!
Just hear what our customers have to say about Magicsteak:
“I never used to leave my house because I was embarrassed about my dry flaky foot skin—now, thanks to Magicsteak I have part-time employment at shopping mall kiosk and may one day wear sandals to work. Thanks Magicsteak!”
“Magicsteak made filing my federal tax return fun and easy, all the while with a comfortable erection!”
“If Magicsteak were a book and I read books, I would call it War and Peace—it’s that good!”
“I have tried countless ways to increase the volume and trajectory of my evacuations. Believe me, Magicsteak is the only one that works.”
“From the moment I bought Magicsteak, it started working. It put me on a strict diet, had me exercise eight times a week, and totally took over my household duties. In only six weeks, I have lost so much weight, my own kids don’t even recognize me. They call me ‘strange lady’, like ‘Look, Magicsteak. Strange lady has come back from her workout.’ And then they march off to school, whistling that eerie hymn Magicsteak taught them. I challenge you to find another weight loss regimen that will make you a stranger in your own home.”
“Who knew an all-purpose processed meat product could write with such fervor? And it’s not just hate literature, because behind Magicsteak’s diatribes and conspiracy theories, there’s a real kernel of truth.”
“Magicsteak rid my neighborhood of all the shiftless hobos. Finally, a meat product that isn’t afraid to use physical coercion to solve the hobo problem.”
“Magicsteak is the charismatic leader this country needs!”
“Magicsteak helped me de-clutter my life. Now I have plenty of space for new clothes and new experiences. Though, I still miss the photos of my family that Magicsteak insisted on throwing away.”
“Beyond its gruff exterior, Magicsteak has a sensitive side. I don’t care what scientists say. This all-purpose meat product has the ability to empathize. ”
“I would like to state for the record that Magicsteak has never made inappropriate sexual advances toward me or my family.”
“Sure, Magicsteak is a hands-on kind of meat product. But that's just how all deeply charismatic, all-purpose meat products are. I really don't think rape would be a fair word to use."
“Magicsteak did not give me cancer. I gave me cancer and only Magicsteak, through its great beneficence, allowed me to see it as a blessing in disguise. Thank you, Magicsteak!”
Try Magicsteak, the only ergonomically-designed all purpose processed meat product that will cure your acne, tone your physique, gain you the admiration of your colleagues, and give you the most comfortable six-hour erection of your life! And SO MUCH MORE!!
Magicsteak has no greasy residue like other all-purpose processed meat products and its patented time-release freshness crystals guarantee that when you use Magicsteak every time feels like the first time!
Just hear what our customers have to say about Magicsteak:
“I never used to leave my house because I was embarrassed about my dry flaky foot skin—now, thanks to Magicsteak I have part-time employment at shopping mall kiosk and may one day wear sandals to work. Thanks Magicsteak!”
“Magicsteak made filing my federal tax return fun and easy, all the while with a comfortable erection!”
“If Magicsteak were a book and I read books, I would call it War and Peace—it’s that good!”
“I have tried countless ways to increase the volume and trajectory of my evacuations. Believe me, Magicsteak is the only one that works.”
“From the moment I bought Magicsteak, it started working. It put me on a strict diet, had me exercise eight times a week, and totally took over my household duties. In only six weeks, I have lost so much weight, my own kids don’t even recognize me. They call me ‘strange lady’, like ‘Look, Magicsteak. Strange lady has come back from her workout.’ And then they march off to school, whistling that eerie hymn Magicsteak taught them. I challenge you to find another weight loss regimen that will make you a stranger in your own home.”
“Who knew an all-purpose processed meat product could write with such fervor? And it’s not just hate literature, because behind Magicsteak’s diatribes and conspiracy theories, there’s a real kernel of truth.”
“Magicsteak rid my neighborhood of all the shiftless hobos. Finally, a meat product that isn’t afraid to use physical coercion to solve the hobo problem.”
“Magicsteak is the charismatic leader this country needs!”
“Magicsteak helped me de-clutter my life. Now I have plenty of space for new clothes and new experiences. Though, I still miss the photos of my family that Magicsteak insisted on throwing away.”
“Beyond its gruff exterior, Magicsteak has a sensitive side. I don’t care what scientists say. This all-purpose meat product has the ability to empathize. ”
“I would like to state for the record that Magicsteak has never made inappropriate sexual advances toward me or my family.”
“Sure, Magicsteak is a hands-on kind of meat product. But that's just how all deeply charismatic, all-purpose meat products are. I really don't think rape would be a fair word to use."
“Magicsteak did not give me cancer. I gave me cancer and only Magicsteak, through its great beneficence, allowed me to see it as a blessing in disguise. Thank you, Magicsteak!”
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